TOP TEN TUESDAYS โ TOP TEN JACOB/ROSALIE MOMENTS IN BREAKING DAWN
A couple weeks ago, we posted a Top Ten list straight from the genius minds at Blast Magazine. It was so successful and spot on, that we’ve decided to post another list from Blast! This time, they bring us a side-splitting top ten list that I’m convinced you’ll all enjoy. Some of you may have seen this set before, but whether you have or haven’t seen it yet - it’s a hilarious list worth reading over and over.
10. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 278 I groaned and opened my eyes. The skies were dull gray โ it was daytime, but no clue as to when. Maybe close to sunset โ it was pretty dark. “About time,” Blondie mumbled from not too far away. “The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired.”9. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 186 “We’re going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately,” Edward said. […] “Over my pile of ashes,” Rosalie hissed at him.
8. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 178 “So take the blonde out first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into jigsaw and take care of Bella.”
7. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 247 “You’re scared of Leah, but you’re best buds with the psychopathic blonde?” There was a low hiss from the second floor. Cool, she’d heard me.
6. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 295 “Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?” I asked, and then continued on the same breath, “a golden retriever.” “I’ve heard that one, too,” she said, no longer smiling. “I’ll keep trying,” I promised […].
5. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 294 “Enjoy, mongrel.” It had once probably been a big mixing bowl, but she’d bent the bowl back in on itself until it was shaped almost exactly like a dog dish. I had to be impressed with her quick craftsmanship. And her attention to detail. She’d scratched the word Fido into the side. Excellent handwriting.
4. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 294 “Rosalie, why don’t you get Jacob something from the kitchen?” Alice said. […] Rosalie stared at the place Alice’s voice had come from in disbelief. “Thanks, anyways, Alice, but I don’t think I’d want to eat something Blondie’s spit in. I’d bet my system wouldn’t take too kindly to venom.” “Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality.” “Of course not,” Blondie said in a sugar-sweet voice that I immediately distrusted. She got up and breezed out of the room. Edward sighed. “You’d tell me if she poisoned it, right?” I asked.
3. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 271 “You know how to drown a blonde, Rosalie?” I asked without stopping or turning to look at her. “Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.” […] “I’ve already heard that one,” Rosalie called after me.
2. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 324 “Have you heard this one, Psycho? How do a blonde’s brain cells die?” She didn’t say anything. “Well?” I asked. “Do you know the punch line or not?” She looked pointedly at the TV and ignored me. “Has she heard it?” I asked Edward. There was no humor in his tense face โ he didn’t move his eyes from Bella. But he said, “No.” “Awesome. So you’ll enjoy this, bloodsucker โ a blonde’s brain cells die alone.” Rosalie still didn’t look at me. “I have killed a hundred times more often than you have, you disgusting beast. Remember that.”
1. “Breaking Dawn” - Page 304 Silently, I lifted my doggy bowl off the floor. Then, with a quick, powerful flip of my wrist, I threw it into the back of Blondie’s head so hard that โ with an earsplitting bang โ it smashed flat before it ricocheted across the room and snapped the round top piece off the thick newel post at the foot of the stairs. […] “Dumb blonde,” I muttered. Rosalie turned her head slowly, and her eyes were blazing. “You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.”
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“You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.” That is a legend of a line!
The last one is my favorite! I love the fighting between Jacob and Rosalie. She needs it! Everyone loves her and Jacob treats her like she is nothing special.
When I was reading the book, and she bent the bowl to look like a dog’s dish, I could not stop laughing!
ahh… jacob.
haha . i love the food in her hair. she had it coming.
ha, you gotta love them both.
..team rosalie(:
she’s nice in her own way
You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.
That’s GOT to be the BEST line!!!!! It’s my number 1, too!!!
You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.
I died laughing! Also with the whole dog dish thing. They made the book that much more enjoyable
the whole ‘fido’ scene and the foo in hair had me laughing for a while…:)
the whole ‘fido’ scene and the food in hair had me cracking up!….:)
I loved the banter between Jacob and Rosalie. I was thinking about it last night actually! I was thinking that if they decide the can’t make Breaking Dawn in to a movie, how disappointed I would be because I wouldn’t be able to physically see it! LOL I loved the whole dog dish moment…and the…”you’d tell me if she poisoned it, right?” LOL
All of these are great..the witty banter between Jake and Rosalie was a HOOT! MY favorite was when he chucked the bowl at her head. She totally deserved it!
I love the last one! “You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.” lmao! sooo funny!
I love Jacob! Rosalie and Jake’s antagonistic banter is a huge highlight of the series. I wish there’d been more books so we could get more of it. Over time, I think they’d still do it, but more out of fun and habit. I guess that’s what fanfic is for.
The Jacob/Rosalie banter in Breaking Dawn was so awesome, I could not stop laughing! And I agree with this list, definitely the food in the hair should be no.1:D
lmao i looove number 5 i couldnt stop laughing when i read it
i lOVE ThEM bOTh!!!
iTS fUNNY…yEA BUT HAS ANY Of YOU SEEN jACOB’S BODY???!!!?!?!
hES GOT lYkE AN 8-PACk!?!?!?!
WOW….SO hOT…
TEAM SWiTZERlANd!?!?!
[BOTH TEAM EDWARD;; & jACOB]
Love the “Top 10″. As you’re reading and trying to absorb everything that they say and do, your concentration level is at a peak. It was wonderful to have bits of humor here and there throughout the book. It kept you interested and gave your mind a break. Thanks Stephenie for the excellent humor which you gave us. Always heard of “Polock Jokes” but never “Vampire Jokes”.
You see, this is why I love Jacob… and why I’m team switz. ;] they’re both awesome lol. [Edward and Jake]
Jacob is hilarious!!!!! I loved his section of Breaking Dawn… his POV was SUPER interesting. Not to mention his fights with Rose. =P lol!!!
haha.. rosalie is so funny.
“You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.”
I loooved that! haha.
Hah, I sure do enjoy these!
haha i totally agree w/ eledylove. I like Rosealie! The food in the hair one was HILARIOUS!