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TOP TEN TUESDAYS – THE TOP TEN FUNNY JACOB QUOTES IN ‘BREAKING DAWN’

Posted August 11th, 2009 By: Team Switzerland 10 Comments »

We’ve gone through the top ten funny Bella and Edward quotes in the series and now we’re making our way to the end of Jacob’s trip through the saga. You’ve seen his funniest quotes in Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse, so as you’d expect, we’re rounding things out with Breaking Dawn this week. I think this book in the series is arguably the funniest and Jacob has some very classic lines throughout it, and we’ve compiled the best ones for you today.

So this week, TA Staffer Eirelav brings us:
The Top Ten Funny Jacob Quotes in Breaking Dawn:

10. “He’s brave. Brave as you are. Didn’t pass out or throw up or anything. I gotta say, I was impressed. You should’ve seen his face when I started taking my clothes off, though. Priceless.” (Page 495)

9. “How much blood would it take to keep her going? At some point, would they start trotting in the neighbors?” (Page 271)

8. “He was right – she was beating herself up about hurting his feelings. The girl was a classic martyr. She’d totally been born in the wrong century. She should have lived back when she could have gotten herself fed to some lions for a good cause.” (Page 187)

7. “I’d been planning to take off and get some Z’s, but the chance to ruin Rosalie’s morning seemed too good to pass up.” (Page 323)

6. “I’m getting older here, Bella. Okay, not technically, but you get the idea.” (Page 435)

5. “You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.” (Page 271)

4. “See. Charlie. Afterwards. See Charlie when she’s all sparkly white with the bright red eyes. I’m not a bloodsucker, so maybe I’m missing something, but Charlie seems like kind of a strange choice for her first meal.” (Page 300)

3. “Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?” (Page 182)

2. “I felt like – like I don’t know what. Like this wasn’t real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire’s wife to shack up and procreate. Nice.” (Page 185)

1. “Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular.” (Page 631)

What do you think of the list? Do you have any other funny Jacob quotes from Breaking Dawn?

Have your own Twilight-inspired Top Ten list? It could be featured on TA! Send it to us at Newsblog@TwilightersAnonymous.com!







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  • Autumn

    LOL! I love Jacob! I have to say my favorite moments in BD are the moments with Rosalie and Jacob. They were hilarious!!

  • kerri

    BD was Jakes shining comedic moment. His and Rosalies antagonistic relationship make me laugh out loud everytime I read it. But I love the names of the chapters the most.

  • Debbie

    These are funny quotes. I have to say, the best part of Breaking Dawn for me was the back/forth of Jacob and Rosalie. I loved it. I literally laughed out loud many times and in many places. Even on my flight to Tahiti. lol

  • Emily

    The Number 1 quote is one of my favorites from the entire series. Great list.

  • shonla

    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE #1! When I read that for some reason I lost it and laughted for like 10 minutes!

  • Twilight Mom Australia

    Like Autumn,Kerri and Debbie, I also think the to and fro between Jacob and Rosalie are the funniest. I love blonde jokes, so I lol, as well every time I read BD.
    Sorry , No offence to my blonde TA Friends…

  • LJ Summers

    Jacob has the BEST lines in the entire book. Bar none. Brilliantly written and executed. Of course… I’m a not-so-secret wolf-girl so I’m biased.

    Eirelav rocked the casbah with her choices. :) Number 9 is my favorite.:)

  • Chris

    Although I partly see Taylor when I’m reading the series, I mostly see the Jacob with the long hair and attitude. Kind of apart from Taylor – in a way. I guess because Taylor is so young I keep a psychological distance from him. Jailbait – ya know?

    But Jacob in the book? I don’t hold back. I had to admit to myself that I’m Team Switzerland (much to the displeasure of my straight son’s who are Team Edward lol). I felt like a traitor but I’m so drawn to Jake.

    The above quotes are hilarious and yesterday almost burst a blood vessel laughing so hard at this one: 1. “Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular.” (Page 631) =)

    Jake is all man – and yet has that sensitive side and also is so honest with Bella – even to the point of hurting her feelings. But he doesn’t hold things against her for too long because of his ability to love. Who can keep a distance or not be affected by THAT? Good lord – love, love, love Jake!

  • http://twilightersanonymous.com Mrs.EdwardCullen17

    I though the list was okay. I never really liked Jacob, but number 1 was one of his best quotes ever.

  • Caragh’X

    Bahahahahahaha.

    Number 1 = Pure comedic Genius.

    Team Jacob fer Loif!!!

 

 

 
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